WAFFLES Eragon Oneshot
by ravanstrawberry
Summary: "Not sure. One minute I'm sitting with Saphira, next Hail comes running at me with a stuffed raccoon while Heavyn rode in on an Urgal. And then I wake up and here I am. Been here for a week, I suppose." Eragon's voice was calm as he told his strange story


Crack (An Eragon Oneshot)

A/N Erm so ya, this is basically me being an idiot.

Disclaimer: Everything Eragon belongs to Paolini.

Claimer: I do own Heavyn and Hail though! J

Warning: Mild language and there may be no rhyme or reason to this

"MURTAGH!"

Murtagh winced as he heard his name being yelled by the short blond haired girl with blue eyes.

"What now, Hail?" He asked annoyed.

Instead of answering she jumped onto his back, wrapping her lags around his stomach and her arms around his neck.

"Get off!" Murtagh told her.

As much as he liked the girl, she could be annoying as hell.

"Having problems?" Asked a brown hair green eyed Heavyn, as she walked into the room.

"Grr! My Murtagh! Gruff!" Hail growled and barked at Heavyn as she got closer.

"Get her off me." Murtagh told Heavyn angrily, and hail laughed before walking around Murtagh and grabbing hold of Hail.

"NO! MINE!" Heavyn yelled as Hail pulled her off.

"Leave Murtagh alone!" Heavyn told the younger girl.

"But I love him, and he loves me!" She replied happily before turning back to look at Murtagh.

Murtagh recognized the crazy look in Hail's eyes, and took off running.

Hail sighed. "They always run. Why do they run, Heavyn? Why do they run?"

Heavyn shrugged her shoulders, then looked into her sister's eyes, and they shared a smirk.

"Oh Murtagh!" Hail sing-songed before she pulled out duct tape and Heavyn pulled out a makeup.

"Murtagh is a bad dog. Gruff!" Heavyn said and then she and her sister took off in the direction the teen had run.

Murtagh hid himself in a small closet, unfortunately, he was found far too quickly.

"NO!" He screamed in protest as Hail dragged him out of the closet and shoved him into a chair. Heavyn duct taped him in.

They then, began to put make up on him, saying that he would 'be very pretty' when they were through.

When they were threw, they duct taped his mouth shut.

Although, he wasn't terrified until Hail pulled a pink dress, seemingly out of no where.

Heavyn and Hail shared a devious glint in their eyes.

He wasn't sure how it happened, or how they did it without freeing him from the chair, but Murtagh found himself in the dress in a matter of seconds.

"I want a waffle." Hail said to her sister.

"Well I want a falafel." Heavyn replied defensively. The glared at each other, before diving behind the living room couch and popping back out with ninja costumes on.

"WAFFLES!" Came Hail's scream as she ran at her sister with a frying pan.

"FALAFELS!" Heavyn screamed as she ran toward Hail with an umbrella. What happened next, could not in anyway be explained, but Murtagh soon found himself no longer taped to a chair. Although, he was now naked in a bathtub full of Waffles.

"The hell?" He muttered as he tried to get up, but found he was somehow tied down.

"They got you too, huh?" Murtagh looked over and saw that he was not the only naked person in the large bathtub.

"Eragon? How did you get here?" Murtagh asked his brother.

"Not sure. One minute I'm sitting with Saphira, next Hail comes running at me with a stuffed raccoon while Heavyn rode in on an Urgal. And then I wake up and here I am. Been here for a week, I suppose." Eragon's voice was calm as he told his strange story.

"How do they do this stuff? And How do YOU know them?" Came Murtagh's next question.

"No one knows how they do it. And I know them because Heavyn decided we were lovers." Again his voice was calm, as if he was used to their brand of crazy.

"It was the same with me and Hail. She claimed me one day. Out of nowhere." Murtagh explained.

"They're terrifying aren't they?" Eragon asked quietly. Murtagh didn't get a chance to answer as the two sisters appeared.

"Hello, Lovey." Heavyn said as she looked at Eragon.

"MURTAGH!" Hail screamed happily. Hail reached into the bathtub and pulled out a bottle of syrup.

"How did that get there?" Heavyn asked seriously and Hail shrugged, throwing it over her shoulder.

"Did you miss me, love?" Heavyn asked as she bent over and kissed Eragon.

"Sure." He replied unenthusiastically, causing Heavyn to narrow her eyes, the hit him on the head with a rubber chicken.

"Bad. Very Bad. Murtagh did you miss me?" Hail asked.

"Not on your life!" He replied angrily. Hail burst into tears.

"NO! YOU HAVE TO LOVE ME! I'M PREGNANT AND IT'S YOURS!" She screamed and Heavyn pulled her in for a hug.

"There, there, Hail." Heavyn soothed, then handed Hail a Waffle out of the bathtub.

"Ew! It was on naked parts!" Hail threw it away.

"Let's go swimming!" Heavyn replied and Hail smiled happily and nodded.

Next thing Eragon and Murtagh knew, they were in the ocean in their bathing suits.

"How the hell?" Murtagh muttered.

"FREEDOM!" Eragon yelled as he took off running, only to run face first into Heavyn's frying pan.

Murtagh winced as Eragon fell into the water and Heavyn dropped down and held him in her arms, crying.

"No! Eragon! Who did this to you? I will kill who ever killed you!" She cried then dropped Eragon back into the water. "IT WAS MURTAGH!" She blamed and he sighed.

"You hit him with a frying pan! And he's not dead!" Murtagh replied.

"LIES!" She screamed.

"Look! He's getting up!" Murtagh was becoming more and more annoyed, but as he pointed out that Eragon was getting up, Heavyn hit him with the frying pan again, and a million ants carried Eragon to shore.

"YOU KILLED HIM!" And with that she leaped at Murtagh, only to be intercepted by Hail.

"DON'T TOUCH MY LOVER!" Hail screamed as she and Heavyn began to fight.

"He killed Eragon!" Heavyn said angrily as she punched Hail.

"I wont let you touch Murtagh!" Hail replied and shoved Heavyn.

"Why? What's so special about Murtagh?" Heavyn asked.

"He's pregnant with my baby!" Hail cried.

"Really! Congratulations!" And with that the sisters hugged and

-The rest of this story has been taken hostage by Galbatorix-


End file.
